My mother was murdered by the man who had been living with and controlling us for only 18 months. Most days we never knew how he was going to be, and the Police and other social service agencies were an all too familiar sight in our home and in our lives.
My mother was such a kind and lovely woman who didn’t deserve what happened. But I also know she would want me to be able to move on and forgive him and not be the reason he stays in prison. It is confusing to reconcile those two things with what he did.
My family tell me that on the day it happened I was at my friend’s house after school and they protected me and kept me away from the horrible details of what occurred. But I remember it differently. I remember seeing my mother’s body and what he did to her.
That was just the beginning of things for me. For a while I stayed with my uncle and aunt. But that didn’t work out so next I stayed with my older sister and that didn’t work out either. Nothing worked out. I tried counselling but it didn’t work, nothing worked. And I lost my family.
A couple of years ago, I lost another important person in my life – my grandmother. I saw my sister and uncle and aunt around that time and we argued a lot. I feel like things aren’t fair, they have everything, and I have nothing. I wrote them a letter, but things only got worse. Now we are estranged, and I have no family apart from my partner.
I am a grown woman now and my mother’s death still haunts me. I find it hard to be open about it and still I “run and hide”. I reached out to Victim Support because I recognised I really needed help. Victim Support have kept in touch with me, and my Support Worker understands this about me, if nothing else. My partner supports me and knows when I am not doing well. Many things have happened, and I feel like everything is too much.
I wonder what effect my mother’s death has had on me, how it has affected my growth and development, and how it has affected the life I don’t have. I know my family tried to shelter me from this, and even though our views of what took place differ; I am still deeply affected by the loss. I have more insight into myself and with the help of my counsellor I can begin to understand my grief, live through the pain and build another life for myself.
Victim Support continue to stay in touch and I know they are there for me.
After the loss of her husband, Michelle faced a daunting court process that she would have struggled to get through without her Support Worker, Deborah.
Kathy helped Annie after being a victim of a traumatic robbery, and her emotional support helped in navigating the criminal justice system.
A touching story of grief and healing as Lynene shares her journey of the loss of her son Cameron and the help of Victim Support Worker Karen.
Chiquita survived the Aramoana massacre that killed her father and turned her struggle into a positive by volunteering at Victim Support.
After Tina's husband was fatally struck by a vehicle, she felt lost and alone in her grief. That's when Victim Support Worker Donna stepped in.
Jaedi's world was turned upside down when she heard the news of a tragic accident back home in Gisborne.
Victim Support helped Simon, a family harm victim, get after months of psychological abuse, threats and violence.
The story of two individuals impacted by suicide and how Victim Support was a crucial source of comfort and support during their time of need.
A woman reflects on the murder of her mother by the man who controlled their lives, and the subsequent loss of her family.
Diane shares the story of losing her daughter in a tragic road accident, caused by impatience and a split-second decision.
Karilyn Collins, whose son Glen was murdered, overcame her fear of leaving her home to speak in support of a new bill promoting victims' rights.
After Tina and her whānau lost a loved one to homicide, Victim Support Worker Shelly went above and beyond to help them through the court process.
Victim Support Worker Linda offered crucial support to Neil after his wife passed away in a tragic road accident.
Asma tragically lost her husband in the Christchurch mosque attack. Left alone with two young daughters, Asma turned to Victim Support for help.
Sarah shares her experience of being a witness in the trial for the death of her baby boy, who was killed by her ex-partner.
At Donna’s side from the first court hearing through to sentencing, Support Worker Deidre was instrumental in enabling her to give good evidence.
A traumatic experience can have such a huge impact on oneself that we can carry around for a lifetime.
Rahimi Ahmad and his family have made a fresh start, happily in their first home, made possible by donated funds paid to them by Victim Support.
Noela's life was shattered when her daughter was brutally murdered but thanks to her "diamond" support worker Nicky, she found the strength to speak out.
A grieving mother describes the invaluable support she received from Victim Support after her daughter's suicide.